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As a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner with a unique social awareness, Laura's online counseling combines expert personal and mental health help with analysis of social events and politics. Open your mind to a new dimension of thought.

Charles Rangel - Top 3 PR Moves He Should Consider

Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 | Share This:
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So Charles Rangel is in a heap of trouble! He of course swears he is an All-American-upstanding-citizen. Apparently, after a 2 year investigation, there was some stinky stuff going on...questionable fund raising activities, improperly obtaining four luxury apartments in New York, some financial no-nos related to a villa in the Dominican Republic, failing to reveal six-figure assets on his disclosure forms...and who knows what else! Good ole Charlie is probably vetting top-notch PR firms to manage his image right about now. But wait! He doesn't need to waste his money! Cause right here are the top 3 worst best case scenarios to get him off the hook.

1. Now's the perfect time to leak that sex tape he's been hiding! Doesn't everyone have a sex tape to release to get attention and/or to deflect other issues? Who doesn't get totally side-tracked by sex? It would definitely need to be super-scandalous...and at least as icky as Woody Allen hooking up with his daughter! Or maybe like David Letterman...having sex with his staff and then getting blackmailed about it!

2. Fake a serious illness. He is 80 after all. It would be believable. That teacher in Pennsylvania faked a brain tumor for nine years! She got lots of money donations and a trip to Disney World. If people believed a nine year old brain tumor...well they'll believe just about anything! I think either Lyme Disease or West Nile. This way he can feign flare-ups and get even more sympathy. He should stay away from the brain tumor...it's too fresh of a news story!

3. Change parties! Charlie should announce that he is now a Republican! He can be a frequent guest on the Sean Hannity show on Fox! He can talk about owning a gun, loving the Constitution, and how much capitalism rocks! He may even get to throw that dumb football around the studio with Sean.

So there is hope for Mr. Rangel! I think he should start walking with a cane too. And start looking like a frail older man...let his hair go grey...maybe even wear his pajamas to court...
Laura NP
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Loving Only French Fries and Chicken Fingers is a Psychiatric Illness

Posted: Monday, July 12, 2010 | Share This:
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"For reasons that aren't clear, almost all adult picky eaters like french fries and often chicken fingers, health experts say." How about that! I got that quote from an article on The Daily Mail. Sometimes the internet has some crazy information! So this article says that "US researchers are considering giving picky eaters an official classification for the first time." In other words...if you are a picky eater, you have a psychiatric problem! How about that! There are support groups for picky eaters too! Even Duke is spending gobs of money to research this "emerging psychiatric illness." Listen, for 99% of picky eaters, I would guess there is no issue with their conscientious eating patterns. Some people are just thoughtful about what they put in their bodies. That sounds smart to me! Just be careful what you read online. Bottom line, anything that bothers you excessively or interferes with your daily life is a problem that you should address with a professional. But...if you are simply a diligent, meticulous, particular, exacting eater, stay the course!
Laura NP
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Michael Hastings, General McChrystal, and the Nobel Prize winning novel Lord of the Flies

Posted: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 | Share This:
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Well, I finally read the WHOLE Michael Hastings article in Rolling Stone about General Stanley McChrystal. It was sooo long! It was a good article and it explained a lot about what's happening behind the scenes. To me, it read like a novel, like West Side Story, but most like William Golding's novel Lord of the Flies. Remember having to read that one in high school!?! It's a classic! Golding won a Nobel Prize and everything! I think Mr. Hastings is hoping for a prize for his article too. I don't know if I agree with the war or not. I don't like that we are dumping billions of dollars into Afghanistan to "win over the civilian population." We need that money for our own who are suffering with unemployment, homelessness, hunger. But I don't want any terrorists killing my family. I don't like hearing how many of our soldiers are dying or killing themselves during this war. And I sure don't like reading about the high school interpretation of our so-called leaders..."General Petraeus is kind of a dweeb, a teacher's pet with a Ranger's tab, McChrystal is a snake-eating rebel, a Jedi commander." So Lord of the Flies! At the end of Golding's novel, all the boys run onto the beach and stumble upon a Navy officer who is there to rescue them. All the boys start to cry..."Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man's heart, and the fall through the air of a true, wise friend called Piggy." The boys all realized that evil dwells within all human beings, even in the most civilized of nations...and so maybe Mr. Hastings, in his blind quest for a prize...had a touch of evil in his heart when he wrote such negative things about The General.
Laura NP
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Is Jan Brewer A Dixie Chicks Wannabe?

Posted: Saturday, June 26, 2010 | Share This:
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Don't get me wrong, I like Jan Brewer, and I agree with her law on immigration. But her most recent statement was a wee-bit controversial. She said, "Immigrants entering Arizona are being used to transport drugs." Maybe some of them fall prey to the drug cartels. Her statement reminded me of when the Dixie Chicks said they were "ashamed" that The President hailed from their home state of Texas. The Dixie chicks sure did take a lot of heat for that one! Death threats and everything! So now all the people who think they are important are calling for Jan to apologize. And they are calling her a racist! I don't think she should apologize! And here's why:

1. Joe Biden said Hilary Clinton was "a better pick than me," regarding being Vice President...but he's the Vice President right!?!

2. Sonia Sotomayor said, "A wise Latina women would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white man who hasn't lived that life." And she's still a Supreme Court Justice, bias and all!

3. Jesse Jackson said, "That's all Hymie wants to talk about, is Israel. Every time you go to Hymie town, that is all they want to talk about." He's still a Reverend and making lots of money for "speaking and supporting stuff (this job description is open to interpretation)."

4. Rush Limbaugh said, "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." Rush still makes gobs of money on his radio show and has a huge fan base, and I bet some of his fans may be ugly girls!

5. Tom Cruise said, "You can use vitamins to help a women through those things," referring to postpartum depression. And he's still a popular, million dollar movie star!

6. Barack Obama said, "America and Islam are not exclusive and need not be in competition. Instead they overlap and share common principles of justice and progress, tolerance and the dignity of all human beings." And he said, "I consider it part of my responsibility to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear." And...as remarkable as it is...he is The President Of The United States!

So Jan...say whatever you want sister! You will still be the Governor of Arizona!
Laura NP
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Who Gets Helen Thomas' Seat -Top Five Nominees!

Posted: Thursday, June 17, 2010 | Share This:
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Well the top contenders for poor Helen's seat are Bloomberg News and Fox News. But I say maybe they should broaden the pool of candidates! Here are the top five people who should be considered for the coveted front row seat:

1. Joe Wilson (R-SC). Joe would be good because he can keep Gibbs in line by shouting out one-liners that may be true. It's always good to have someone who can cause a few looks of disdain and gasps of horror during a press conference. It adds a little drama...a little Jersey Shore flavor don't you think?

2. Glenn Beck. So Glenn would be good because he makes goofy faces and can make himself cry about politics. His big chalkboard might get in the way of the other reporters, but maybe he can get one of those little chalkboards that will fit on his lap.

3. Sarah Palin. Sarah the rogue reporter! All she ever talks about is "tapping our natural energy sources." No matter what question you ask her, that is her answer. She is consistent and reliable! Two very good qualities don't you think?

4. Angelina Jolie. She's a hot mom who thinks she can create world peace as an ambassador and by adopting kids from every country in the world. Sometimes it's all about what you think of yourself right? You don't have to go to Yale or Harvard to get appointed in the political arena. Sometimes pretty does matter.

5. Ronald Reagan's ghost. Yup. We need Ronnie to come back and kick some cowboy sense into the Obama administration! Ronald Reagan was the greatest president. His ghost needs to sit in that seat and remind everyone of his good work and all the success and good living it brought us! Remember "supply-side economics?" Remember that controlling the money supply decreases inflation... remember that we can spark economic growth by reducing government spending...remember that reduced government regulation of the economy worked well...remember tax cuts... and remember successful foreign affairs negotiations like the INF treaty. Obama is the polar opposite of these fruitful concepts from President Reagan.

Can some psychic or channeling-type person please step forward and initiate contact with the "place people go when they die," and get President Reagan on the ghost phone? Because we are in a crisis here, and now that Helen Thomas stuck her foot in her mouth, there's an empty seat where we can strategically place a voice of reason. Unfortunately, Obama does not appear at press conferences and he does not answer questions. Maybe President Reagan will have to haunt the White House for a little while and scare some sense into Obama. Given how things have been going so far...it's our only hope.
Laura NP
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 9:59 AM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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McDonald's Recalls Toxic Glasses and Disco is Dead

Posted: Friday, June 04, 2010 | Share This:
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McDonald's is recalling 12 million drinking glasses. You know, the ones with Shrek characters on them. Who doesn't love Shrek! So there is some unacceptable level of cadmium in the paint. Right away, didn't you think...Oh must be from China! But guess what...made in the USA at ARC International in lovely New Jersey. They have a very chic website and they are French-owned. I tried to maneuver their website to figure out which plant made the Shrek glasses. They have plants in Mexico, France, USA, China...all over the place! But most reports say the glasses came from the New Jersey plant. It's kind of a shady story...I couldn't figure it out! Some "third-party independent lab" accredited by the Consumer Product Safety Commission discovered this cadmium issue. Ummm..but the glasses were already in compliance with state and fed regulatory rules. So who-what-where decided to do an "independent study?" Then there is something about an anonymous tip. Very suspect don't you think? So what the heck is going on? Maybe the Obama Food Czar is quietly undermining the fast food business to force us to get skinny! Or maybe Pixar is trying to put DreamWorks out of business. Think about it...DreamWorks makes the Shrek movies. Pixar makes the Walt Disney movies. David Geffen runs DreamWorks. Steve Jobs owns a boat load of Pixar stock. Geffen was the first record label to sign on Donna Summer in the disco era. Jobs is the apple God. The disco era was filled with hedonism and sexual promiscuity. The apple represents temptation and sin. So did Donna Summer bite a Big Mac...which is the modern day apple... and fall prey to the sin-filled disco era? Or did Adam and Eve really drink from a cadmium glass, get toxic, and make fig leaves for clothes?
Laura NP
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 11:36 AM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Top 3 Reasons You Know Your Blood is Overrun with Neanderthal DNA

Posted: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 | Share This:
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Ever since the science peeps announced that some of us are directly related to Neanderthals, I thought it would be important to be able to identify those of us with the direct link. After some in-depth googling activities, here are the top three "Neanderthal DNA is in me" identifiers:

1. You love buffets and game dinners. Neanderthals are scavengers. Yup. Neanderthals sometimes ate any dead animal they happened to come across. Like a vulture. I always wondered why some people love buffets. I never got it...that sneeze guard is not low enough for the 7-10 year old crowd. In fact, those little kids touch the food and cough and sneeze right onto it! But some people still eat it! And those game dinners. Have you ever heard of those. Yeah, a bunch of hunters go out and kill all kinds of weird animals...bears, reindeer, wild boar, deer, and already dead dolphins (cause there is some rule about not killing a dolphin to eat it). Then some crazy chefs make delectable treats like ham of black bear, leg of mountain sheep, broiled rabbit, squirrel barbecue, and reindeer testicles! Remember that Fear Factor episode where they ate reindeer testicles? Yup...Neanderthals! If you don't have Neanderthal DNA, you can't try out for fear factor.

2. You use your teeth as tools. Opening cans, zipping up zippers, gnawing off your own leg that's stuck in a trap...that's some hearty Neanderthal DNA! Some people chew their nails. That doesn't count. Some people chew glass. That counts. Oh...and swallowing knives and eating fire...definitely Neanderthal DNA.


3. You vacation in caves. You belong to a grotto club, you spelunk, and you call yourself a "caver." You are dazzled by the underworld! You've been to mammoth caves, Lost River caves, Crystal Cave, Lockport caves, Missouri caves, Wild cave, Cave of the Winds, Ozark caves, and you like the website...caves.org. You spend your evenings in the "cavechat" online community. You wear one of those super-cool helmets with the light on top. You know the difference between stalagmites and stalactites (I needed to use spell check to spell those right!) You have a bumper sticker that says, "Caves are Cool."

So what do you think? Are you a direct descendant? See...all those years you thought you were...well...different. But now there is a scientific reason for your uniqueness, you are a Neanderthal spawn! Congratulations!
Laura NP
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Men with Postpartum Depression...Gimme a Break!

Posted: Saturday, May 29, 2010 | Share This:
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As a mother of three children, as a woman, and as a health care provider, I am totally disgusted by all the media fuss about father's getting postpartum depression. In The New York Times article recently published, all kinds of researchers reviewed all kinds of past studies and determined that one in 10 dads had prenatal or postpartum depression. The article said, "We should do more to screen for depression in fathers." Are you kidding me? Pregnant women and postpartum women in this century are still not getting adequate depression screenings during and after pregnancy! And now the focus needs to be on the poor father...going through what hormonal change??? It is pathetic...the attempts made in the media and America to keep a male dominated society! To now try and "take over" the one thing they can never do...birthing! Women still make less money than men. Women still do the majority of raising children alone. Research is still focused on helping men achieve better health. But...maybe the tides are changing as a New York Times article reveals the "Department of Education statistics show that men, whatever their race or socioeconomic group, are less likely than women to get bachelor's degrees — and among those who do, fewer complete their degrees in four or five years. Men also get worse grades than women." Maybe men are getting scared that women are surpassing them in education...so they have to try and take over the hormonal birthing process! And here's where I have to put an awesome quote from an awesome woman... Robin Morgan said, "In the long run, Women's Liberation will of course free men-but in the short run it's going to COST men a lot of privilege, which no one gives up willingly or easily." Bottom line...men are depressed when women have babies because they are no longer the center of attention, and men are depressed when women are pregnant because it may alter their sex life, and men are depressed when women are pregnant and have babies because they will never be able to do that which only a woman can.
Laura NP
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 3:46 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Obama's Inaudible Oily Opinions

Posted: Monday, May 24, 2010 | Share This:
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Ok, I'm so done waiting for Obama to make some sort of statement about the Oil Tragedy in the Gulf. There's some website called deepwater horizon response where you can get updates, but I want to hear from our President! What...is he too busy begging Reverend Wright for forgiveness after "throwing him under the bus?" Obama was the first to blab his opinion of the police who arrested his buddy Henry Gates Jr...remember...Obama said the police acted "stupidly!" So why doesn't he speak about this horrific disaster in our waters and wetlands? How many more oily birds and plants do you need to see brother? Obama, open your mouth and speak, take charge, get your fly fishing hoity-toity waders on...get your elbow-length gloves on...and get your typically-opinionated-now-for-some-unknown-reason-mute butt to the gulf and clean it up! Maybe all your czars can help too!
Laura NP
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 4:47 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Tar Balls, Space Balls, and other Mysteries

Posted: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 | Share This:
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CNN is reporting that the tar balls found on the beaches in the Florida Keys are not from the BP under-water-oil-gusher! Funny...the article does not speculate about the origin of these tar balls. Should we worry? Were they planted there by another country trying to make us look bad? How the heck did they get there and why doesn't anyone seem to care! How is it possible they are not from that BP gusher? Well we spent gobs of money to have these tar balls flown in a fighter jet to New London Connecticut to be analyzed. And "the tar ball experts" said these tar balls are not a DNA match for the BP gulf gusher tar DNA. Ok...so tar doesn't have DNA but it sounded kind of cool right!?! So the origin of these Florida Keys tar balls remains a mystery. Maybe Glenn Beck will talk about these mysterious tar balls tonight on his show. I like Glenn Beck...maybe he will draw on his chalkboard and explain it all! I thought I should cruise the web in search of other mysterious balls that may help us to understand the tar balls...but all I found was stuff about a mysterious space ball. Maybe those tar ball experts in Connecticut work for BP? Should we call the Connecticut Attorney General, Richard Blumenthal to check these tar analyzers out? Wait...Richard Blumenthal is too busy sorting out his own biographical mystery...he can't help us now! See how everything in the news is connected into one super-sized story with multiple mini mysteries and a profusion of plots?!?
Laura NP
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Food Allergy Fiasco

Posted: Sunday, May 16, 2010 | Share This:
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Food allergies are scary things! All the schools now have those "peanut-free tables" in their cafeterias. As a Nurse Practitioner, if I see a client, and they tell me they are allergic to medicine, or food, or anything...I believe them, I ask them what happens when then eat or are exposed to the food or medicine, and I document it in their charts! And of course, I remind them to avoid those things that cause them an adverse reaction. Sometimes I refer them to allergists. Simple right? Well...The New York Times just ran an article entitled Doubt Is Cast on Many Reports of Food Allergies. So once again we have a federally funded "study" that dismisses what a patient says to their health care provider. The research reveals that most people don't have allergies. And the purpose of this information is to give The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases the authority to curb allergy testing. Bottom line, the government is being sneaky by making it sound like clinical research is driving this health care change...but really...the government is trying to blame the patient for over-testing of allergies. Why??? So they don't have to pay for the tests the patient is requesting! In other words...the government funded research states that you are wrong, that you don't really have a true allergy, and that you don't need allergy testing. Here it is America...Obama will use "government research" to justify why you can't have the kind of health care you deserve. Let's face it...he has to cap health care expenses or we'll be belly up just like Greece. So be wary of federally funded health care research. It's not in your best interest. And if you think you have an allergy to something....I believe you!
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 4:19 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Research Rocks!

Posted: Wednesday, May 12, 2010 | Share This:
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Sometimes the pressures of academia lead researchers to publish stuff that's just plain old common sense. They twist and spin it into some amazing discovery...but it's stuff we've been doing since we mated with those crazy neanderthals! So CNN and Health.com reported on a study done by Seth D. Pollak, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. So Dr. Pollak asked 61 girls ages 7 to 12 to do something stressful. He then put them into 3 groups, one group hugged their mom after the stress, one group spoke with their mom on the phone after the stress, and one group watched a "neutral" movie. Then he checked their cortisol and oxytocin levels before and after all this stuff. And the conclusion...our ability to cope with stress may be shaped by our interactions with our mothers. Why didn't he test boys too? Dr. Pollak is a boy, you would think he would want to know about boy stuff. Is he implying something about girls, women, and stress? What does a PhD in psychiatry know about cortisol and oxytocin? Of course a nurturing relationship with your mama is good for you! I think researchers come up with research studies the same way rock stars come up with song lyrics. No really...sitting in a bar, drinking their fourth drink...martinis if you are an ivory tower academic and jagermeister shots if you are a rocker...writing their thoughts on a cocktail napkin and taking the little napkin...to the research lab if you are an ivory tower academic and to the recording studio if you are a rocker...and in the end, they both make up a song and dance to entertain us. Laura NP
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 8:12 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Fighting Over Hummus...so weird, right?

Posted: Sunday, May 09, 2010 | Share This:
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So Lebanon just claimed the Guinness Book of World Records for largest amount of Hummus ever made. Yup, 11.5 tons. Pretty impressive right? But it has another meaning to the people of the Middle East. CNN reports about this so-called Hummus War. According to CNN, it's sort of like the Greeks claiming "the rights" to feta cheese. Weird. So Lebanon and Israel have been fighting over "the rights" to hummus. It has something to do with the "designation of origin." So weird. It's a food. A very tasty food! Can't we just say it's a tasty Middle East Treat? Maybe that's offensive...because Israel says hummus is theirs...and Lebanon says hummus is theirs...so I might be offending both of them by generalizing hummus into one category...Middle East. So the lesson is...if you are taking the SATs...or trying out for Jeopardy...and there is a multiple choice question about the "designation of origin of hummus"...and the choices are:
A. Lebanon
B. Israel
C. Middle East
D. None of the above

Pick D. none of the above...at least for now, until Israel makes a 12 ton vat of hummus to claim the title. Laura NP
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 7:03 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Lazy Overweight Cops Use Tasers

Posted: Wednesday, May 05, 2010 | Share This:
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Did you see the video of that poor Phillies fan who got tasered? It was a harmless, foolish 17 year old kid. If you look at the video, the officer is clearly overweight and looks strained by all the exercise...which is a documented 30 second chase...and then he fires the taser! The Washington Post states that Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey felt the officer acted within department guidelines. Is his girth within department guidelines??? Now that may sound harsh, but the fact is, if you're fat and out of shape, you can't chase deviant 17 year olds around a field and expect to catch them! It's scientifically impossible! That officer only used the taser because he couldn't physically continue the pursuit. Well that's just not fair. Police officers should have annual agility and stamina tests...not just when they get the job. It is not ok to taser someone just because it's convenient...which is what this officer did. Bottom line...don't run onto a field after your Dad tells you it's not a good idea...and if you are an officer of the law...get your ass to the gym! Laura NP
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 3:59 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Dumb Patient's Cause Doctors to Give Bad Care?

Posted: Sunday, May 02, 2010 | Share This:
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I like The Huffington Post, but some of the posts on there are way out there! Like Dr. Elaine Schattner's little post entitled Doctors Need Time To Think. She says if people were more educated about health care, then there wouldn't be medical mistakes! Really? Come on Elaine, are you really going to blame the patient for medical errors? Why yes she is! And here is her direct quote, "When people are sufficiently educated that they can understand what their doctors tell them, know what they read and get basic math and science concepts, they're less vulnerable to misleading information." This is ridiculous! How about the doctor learns how to communicate with his patients on their level of understanding? Cause I'm pretty sure the 75 year old dementia patient will not be able to recite Einstein's theory of relativity! Or the two year old orphan...Elaine, try explaining some chemistry to that poor baby...and if that baby doesn't understand that chemistry, and there's a bad outcome with his medical care, well it's all that baby's fault...right Elaine? Come on down from the ivory tower Dr. Schattner. So if a doctor is explaining how chemo drugs will affect the body, and the patient says he doesn't understand, what are you going to do, send them for some college calculus classes!?! Bottom line...If the doctor can not adequately explain something to a patient...then the doctor needs to try a different approach...and again if necessary...until the patient can verbalize understanding. Shame on you Dr. Schattner.
Laura Giesman NP
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 8:05 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Free Will Debate Just An Exercise In Futility

Posted: Friday, April 30, 2010 | Share This:
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I just finished reading an article on the Huffington Post by Amy Green entitled, Researchers Probe Whether, Why 'Free Will' Exists. She wrote about Florida State University getting a 4.4 million dollar grant from John Templeton Foundation to study free will. So Amy has a bunch of quotes in her article and all kinds of interesting tidbits about free will. It has some interesting thoughts about genetic and environmental factors possibly determining our decisions. At the end of the article she has a quote from Norman Geisler, a man who has written about 70 books on the topic of free will! He said, "The bible affirms that man is free, morally responsible, because if our actions are pre-determined then God is to blame for our choices." But not everyone believes in the bible. Hmmm...I understand he is an expert and I respect all his research. And Amy's article was good. But...trying to scientifically define free will is doomed to be futile. Why? Because the term free will is related to religions and people's personal beliefs in relation to their religious beliefs. So everyone has a different definition. And guess what? No religion is right or wrong...just different. So what people really should be spending 4.4 million dollars on is helping people and animals in dire need today, right now. And what we really need to study is patience. Because patience is "a state of endurance under difficult circumstances." And we must have patience in this challenging life until we die. Because only when we are dead, will we then know, or not know, which religion is right...or not.
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 10:39 AM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Airline Accountability...NOT!

Posted: Thursday, April 29, 2010 | Share This:
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Just when you thought maybe, just maybe someone was protecting your rights, along comes another law that puts money in the government's pocket at our expense. So get this...The Department of Transportation announced a new passenger protection rule. Yup, airlines will be fined if people are stuck on the tarmac for more than 3 hours. BUT...if the highly-trained-unionized air traffic controller thinks getting all those peeps off the plane would create a "major disruption in airport operations," well then they can override that silly little rule! AND...if the DOT decides to fine the airline...up to $27,500 per passenger...well now who do you think gets that money??? That's right, the government. The passenger who was inflicted with tarmac torture gets nothing. How is this kick-back-like deal not going to lead to corruption?? Bottom line...airlines can still hold you against your will for as many hours as they want. Is there no Constitutional Clout on a plane? So for your next flight, bring lots of snacks, wear a diaper, and pop some anti-anxiety medications, cause flying still beats driving across the country with a screaming toddler and your mother-in-law.
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 4:56 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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McDonald's Happy-less Meals

Posted: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 | Share This:
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So Santa Clara County just passed a law stating restaurants can no longer use toys to entice kids to eat fast food. Any restaurant engaging in this insane criminal act will be fined $1000! Are you kidding me!?! I didn't realize our young ones were turned into zombies by toys and forced to eat fast food! I didn't realize children as young as five were driving themselves to McDonald's and purchasing a happy meal with their own hard-earned money! How about a law that punishes parents who have overweight kids!?!? That seems more appropriate. They should fine Mr. and Mrs. Smith for allowing their kid to eat that crap!! Or maybe some jail time! Why are small and big governments telling us what to eat!?! If Mr. and Mrs. Smith want to give their kid fast food...then so be it...because truthfully, it's none of my business what they do! Bottom line...don't blame the toy, it's the parents who hand their kids that food to eat. And the other bottom line...governments big and small need to stop telling us what to do.
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Janet Napolitano Remains Clueless

Posted: Wednesday, April 28, 2010 | Share This:
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Well, the Arizona borders are being compared to a "western movie shoot-out." The people who actually live there say it's really really bad. So why doesn't Janet Napolitano believe them?? What's wrong with her?? At the very least, she should validate their feelings and acknowledge their suffering. But instead, she denies everything as if those people are liars! Sorry Janet, but you have very poor people skills! Arizona is requesting the National Guard to help at the border. Sounds good to me! That's exactly why we have a National Guard! So why the resistance from Washington?? Gabrielle Giffords is a democrat from down there and Ted Poe is a republican from down there and they both say it's bad and they need help securing the border! And you may be wondering about Harry Reid...well he seems a bit lost in space these days right!?! He's wandering around the floor of congress talking about "re-prioritizing climate change talks." Harry...Wake up brother! How is it that we have secured Iraqi borders better than our own borders? Harry and Janet need to take the first flight out of DC and get to the Arizona border, take some No-Doz, drink a Starbucks double espresso, and work with the border patrol all night.
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 1:49 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Children Should Not Respect Their Elders

Posted: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 | Share This:
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Alice Miller, 87, recently died. I saw her obit in The New York Times and it reminded me of stuff we learned in psych classes. She had Freudian training and her work focused on children. So Alice believed that the family...parents...are the root of all your problems. She said, "All mental illness is caused by childhood trauma and inner pain." Certainly some mental illness is from that...but all?? I fully embrace the neurobiology and environmental combo answer myself. But Ms. Miller gave us important parental tools. She showed us the importance of our actions and our words related to our children's well-being. And now we know...parents aren't always right, parental coercion isn't right, and that not all adults deserve a child's respect. We unfortunately teach our children to blindly obey their elders. It is our fault that our children fall prey to the notion that their teacher's, their friend's parents, their bus driver's, their clergymen are to be listened to and obeyed...but that's not always right, and we see that everyday as more and more cases of child abuse are exposed. Don't teach your children to respect their elders. That level of trust and respect must be earned. Teach your children to be wary, to analyze a situation, and to create their own thoughts about who they will give respect. Empower your children to be independent thinkers, to make informed decisions, and to negotiate life. Thank you Ms. Miller!
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 12:07 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Wal-Mart Karma

Posted: Monday, April 26, 2010 | Share This:
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I just love the saying "what goes around comes around." You all know it right!?! It's a karma thing. And today, the largest class-action lawsuit in our history got the green light from the federal appeals court. Yup. Dukes vs. Wal-Mart Stores Inc. In 2001, Betty Dukes, a Wal-Mart employee, realized she was not being paid the same as her male counterparts. She complained and nothing happened. Then she started doing some research, and found that not only were women employees paid less than men employees, but women were given fewer opportunities for promotion than men. So how is this karma you ask? Well, think of all the family homes Wal-Mart has stolen from us with eminent domain. That wasn't the right thing to do. And cheating women out of fair pay and work opportunities isn't the right thing to do either. So now Wal-Mart will have to face the court and defend it's unethical ways. I tip my hat to you, Ms. Betty Dukes! Thank you for reminding us that women still have a way to go. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for not being afraid of the big corporation. You are an inspiration. And Wal-Mart...your slogan, "save money, live better" needs to be changed to "steal money, loathsome bias."
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 4:52 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Why is Congress' Hand in My Chip Bag?

Posted: Wednesday, April 21, 2010 | Share This:
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Who doesn't love potato chips? Or pickles? Or bread? So tasty good right? Well it all may change because Congress wants the FDA to set limits for levels of salt in our food! How about working on homelessness, or maybe fixing the economy first!?! Do not mess with American snacks! And do not tell me what to eat! So Congress spent your hard-earned money on a study done by the Institute of Medicine. Yup, a study to tell us what we already know...salt is not good for you in large amounts! We know! That's why you can go down the chip aisle and pick regular or low salt chips. I thought we solved this a long time ago by offering the low salt version? Congress wants the FDA to implement a "gradual reduction of salt in all foods over time" to ease us into it, so our mouths don't freak out from blandness! Really!?! Ridiculous! We know that too much salt can raise our blood pressure and lead to health and heart issues. But this is America people! And if I want to eat salty chips...well it's my right to eat them! But just think...maybe there will be a black market for salty chips...we can have an underground network of salty food pantries! Forget the drug dealers...now food dealers can sell a bag of salty chips for $20 in a back alley!! Obama and Pelosi...please leave us alone...you are ruining our lives with your petty control-freak legislation.
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 4:59 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Illegal Immigrants - It's Not A Race Issue

Posted: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 | Share This:
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Arizona is tossing around a bill in their congress that would require police to determine whether people are here legally. Sounds like a good idea to me! Police are here to uphold the law right? And being in the USA illegally is well...breaking the law! Why would anyone disagree with the passing of this bill? So some people in Arizona say this bill is "mean-spirited" and "unconstitutionally authorizes discrimination." Really? So is it mean-spirited to arrest someone who robs a bank? After all, the poor guy just needed some money right? Ridiculous! And since when is it discrimination when someone is arrested for a crime? Last time I checked, we are all going to get arrested if we do a crime and get caught. Oh wait...get caught...is that what this is about? After all, illegal immigrants provide cheap labor. So let's see, while I'm paying the never-ending unemployment benefits Obama approved...illegal immigrants are working jobs that could be had by the unemployed Americans. Gee, that seems a bit "mean-spirited" to me! Arizona! Wake up and pass the bill! Give those jobs to Americans! Let the police check everyone's ID. Let the police arrest and deport illegal immigrants. State Senator Russell Pearce said it best, "Illegal is not a race, it's a crime."
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 8:15 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Sleep Less Eat More-Research Rubbish About Fatness

Posted: Sunday, April 18, 2010 | Share This:
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So there's a new study out about overeating. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, Online edition dated March 31, reports that a European study found that men who slept less ate more. Twenty-two percent more than when they slept eight hours. The research team thought it might be possible that people eat more after short sleep because mammals store up calories in summer because nights are shorter and there is more food. Hmmm...so is it ok to eat more in the summer, cause the days are longer? Remember when President Bush changed the daylight savings time? He told us not to turn the clocks back until the end of October....maybe it's President Bush's fault that we are fat? This means that no one should be gaining weight over the Christmas Holidays cause the days are shorter, right? So we shouldn't eat when it's dark out? Are you as confused about this study as I am? Maybe it's the simple fact that people don't eat when they are sleeping, so if you sleep longer, you eat less, cause, well...you're sleeping!?! Except for those sleep-eaters they feature on TLC reality TV! You know, where they put the camera in the fridge and they tape people sleep-eating!?! Maybe if those people stayed awake longer, they would be thinner? I don't know. Bottom line, don't eat a big mac in the dark, you'll get fat.
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 7:14 PM | 0 Comments | Share This:

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Don't Snake Me Bro!

Posted: Wednesday, April 14, 2010 | Share This:
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Here is a recap of the most relevant news story of the day. So two guys in South Carolina argued during the night about loud music. One dude tells the other dude to turn down the music. Happens all the time! But then the man who complained about the music being too loud seemed to still be angry. There is a standard operating procedure of what to do next...shall we say a set of "unwritten rules," kind of like the triple dog dare episode in A Christmas Story. You can't skip the double dog dare and challenge with the triple dog dare! So instead of calling the police for help, which would have been the obvious next step and equal to the double dog dare, this guy skips right to the triple dog dare and goes and gets his 4-foot python and confronts the loud-music man again and whacks him in the head with the snake! Really?!? Yes, really. It's a simple life lesson...don't skip the double dog dare, cause bad things will happen.
Posted by Eleventh Hour LLC at 8:45 PM | 1 Comments | Share This:

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